Groundhog Daze
by jodm
Summary: Even Punxsutawney Phil needs to escape the winter. A bit of comic fluff for everyone who's tired of snow! No groundhogs (or Five-O detectives) were harmed in the creation of this story.


_Hawaii Five-O belongs to CBS. No copyright infringement is intended._

_This story is the third in my "Groundhog" series and was inspired by a recent news article about a New England police department issuing a humorous arrest warrant for the infamous rodent. _

**GROUNDHOG DAZE**

Dispatch in hand, Danny practically bounded into Steve's office. He was a couple of minutes late for the usual morning meeting, but he hadn't been able to resist the latest alert that had just come over the wire. Steve raised an eyebrow at his second-in-command's expression and stated with an indulgent grin, "What's got you so excited, Danno?"

"Have you seen this?" Dan waved a paper. "There's an arrest warrant out . . ."

"Some crime HPD can't handle, Bruddah?" Kono drawled.

"A bank robbery? A new gambling syndicate? Drug runners?" Chin added.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense, Danno," the boss commanded. "Who is it for?"

"Punxsutawney Phil!" The young officer laughed. "A town in New England is blaming him for seven feet of snow and more on the way. He's charged with the crime of 'snow against humanity.' There's even a reward."

"He did see his shadow," Steve commented. "That does mean six more weeks of winter. At least we don't have to serve that warrant. He's probably curled up in a nice heated burrow in a comfortable zoo somewhere. And that's where he'd better stay!"

_o-o-o-o-o_

Punxsutawney Phil stretched in his specially-designed carrying-crate and reached for another carrot. The plane ride from Los Angeles, the final Mainland location on the Groundhog Goodwill Tour, had been long but he'd been well-pampered as was befitting a creature of his celebrity. He was really looking forward to this stop—and especially in sunny Hawaii. His shots were up-to-date so quarantine regulations had been waived. He was a visiting dignitary, after all! His snack finished, he went back to sleep.

The plane taxied to a stop and the hatch was opened. Two zoo officials waited to greet their guest and his keepers. A quick walk to a waiting car and it was off to a welcoming ceremony at Kapiolani Park. Nothing was too good for the first groundhog to visit Hawaii! Everything had gone off without a hitch. So far . . .

They didn't see the nondescript vehicle following them at a discreet distance.

_o-o-o-o-o_

"Governor," Steve didn't believe what he was hearing, "you want Five-O to do what?"

"Provide security at a welcoming ceremony this afternoon at the zoo. I've been invited to introduce Punxsutawney Phil to the Islands."

"Introduce the groundhog?" Steve sputtered. He glared at his grinning team as he replied in a resigned tone. "We'll be there." He broke a pencil in half and growled, "I need coffee!" He really hated these last-minute assignments.

"Phil da Snowpunk's coming here?" Kono questioned. "Seven feet of snow may be OK on da Big Island volcanoes, but we don't need nothing like that on dis rock! Give me a sunny beach and good surf any day."

Danny could only agree as he went to make arrangements to welcome the furry visitor, muttering softly, "I just hope he doesn't bite." Chin took a few minutes to call his wife. Little Tilda would love meeting a new furry friend. Kono grabbed a donut. He'd need some extra energy for this assignment. No telling what could go wrong with this slippery critter!

Steve just shook his head. Several big cases (What else was new!) and Five-O had to play bodyguard to a groundhog.

_o-o-o-o-o_

Punxsutawney Phil stretched luxuriantly and looked around his new quarters. Comfortable wood-shaving bedding. Nice! Fresh bottled spring water. He approved as he took a few sips. Perfect! And the food-simply delicious. No, make that ambrosia, especially the papaya-macadamia nut biscuits. Someone should send the recipe back home to his caretakers in Pennsylvania. And that fresh coconut was a delicacy fit for royalty (which, of course, he was). He groomed his already perfect golden-brown fur and settled down for a short nap. He wanted to be at his best to greet his new admirers.

_o-o-o-o-o_

Steve screeched his Mercury to a stop. He'd already noted the large red and white "WELCOME PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL" banner stretched between two palm trees framing the stage. A small crowd had already gathered; he spotted Mrs. Kelly and Tilda in the front. He smiled, returned the little girl's excited wave, and went to greet Governor Jameson. Danno, Chin, and Kono were scattered among the crowd, on the alert for problems. He noticed Duke and Ben Kokua had joined them. _Good. Nice to have some extra help._

Dan checked the crowd. _Mostly parents, children, a few newspaper and TV reporters. Nothing unusual._ He shuddered as he noticed a group of second graders wearing homemade groundhog masks. _Never thought an oversized hamster would be that popular! _

The young cop couldn't shake an uneasy feeling that something was amiss. "Murphy's Law in action," he groused. He looked around a second and third time before he spotted it: an old car, faded paint job, three men watching the small stage just a bit too intently. One of the men began to move. Dan signaled Duke and Ben and the HPD officers moved toward the car. Dan followed the first man. Everything about him spelled troublemaker.

Governor Jameson wrapped up his speech with "I'm happy to welcome the world's most famous groundhog to beautiful Hawaii. Punxsutawney Phil!"

Phil's handler lifted the giant rodent out of his carrier to the delight of the assembled children. Tilda squealed as the groundhog waved a paw. She waved back and took a step or two closer. Her laughter changed to a surprised gasp as a scruffy man leaped on the stage, grabbed the squirming animal and made a run for his car yelling. "This critter is a menace. He's wanted in six states for burying every city in mountains of snow!"

The startled Phil didn't take kindly to insults or rough handling. He remembered something he'd learned from a large white feathered friend and sank his formidable incisors into his captor's forearm. The man yelped in pain as Phil wriggled loose and headed for the first child he saw: Tilda. He loved children and the laughing little girl looked like just the right person for him.

She held out her arms and he snuggled contentedly in her lap. Enough excitement for one day. Time for a nap.

Tilda giggled happily. "I love him! Can I keep him?"

"Sorry, little one. He belongs to someone else," Chin answered as he made his way to his family and gently lifted the sleeping groundhog from his daughter's lap. "But he'll be here for a week and you can visit him every day."

"And this is for you to keep," Jameson added as he and Phil's keeper handed her a groundhog stuffed animal. Tilda hugged the soft cuddly toy as cameras clicked. Definitely headline news!

Nobody paid attention as Dan and Kono rounded up the would-be rodent-nappers. Just another day in the life of Five-O!


End file.
